If you've been on social media lately, you'll have noticed the noise. Louis Theroux's Netflix documentary Inside the Manosphere dropped on 11 March and hasn't left the cultural conversation since. Comment sections are lit up — with people horrified, defensive, dismissive, or quietly nodding along. The "not all men" debate is having another moment. So is the pushback: maybe not all men, but it is absolutely all men's issue to fix.

Meanwhile, in a Wellington courtroom this week, Judge Sainsbury sentenced rapist Jordan Tegus to 13 years in prison — and took the unusual step of naming plainly what he saw in the evidence. Tegus held what the judge described as a toxic misogynistic attitude toward women as mere objects. Her role, the judge said, was simply to look pretty and be available when he wanted her.

A Netflix documentary and a Wellington sentencing landing in the same fortnight are not a coincidence. They're pointing at the same thing.

So what actually is the manosphere?

It's worth naming clearly, because the term is everywhere right now and genuinely misunderstood by many of the people who most need to understand it.

The manosphere is a loose network of online influencers, podcasters, and communities whose content is aimed primarily at young men. At the mainstream end, it looks like gym motivation, financial hustle culture, and dating advice. At the extreme end — where Theroux spent most of his time — it promotes male dominance, contempt for women, and the idea that any man who doesn't perform a particular aggressive version of masculinity is weak or worthless.

The business model is deliberate: provocative content spreads fast, builds a loyal audience of young men who feel lost or left behind, then converts that audience into paying customers for courses, coaching, and memberships. These once-fringe viewpoints are now mainstream, with loyal fanbases. And those fanbases are in your teams. In your classrooms. Quite possibly in your leadership group.

The data is already here in Aotearoa

You don't need Netflix to tell you something is shifting. The 2025 Aotearoa New Zealand Gender Attitudes Survey — the fifth in a series running since 2017 — has been telling us for months.

One in three young men in Aotearoa believes that gender equality has gone too far. Agreement that hitting out is an understandable response when a partner tries to leave has nearly doubled — from 8% in 2017 to 14% in 2025. Seventeen percent of New Zealanders think that if someone is raped when drunk, they're at least partly responsible.

These aren't fringe views held by obvious extremists. They're sitting in one in seven of your staff members, your students, your community members. And the people who hold them are not, for the most part, self-identified radicals. They've absorbed these ideas gradually — from content that started with fitness tips or financial advice and walked them somewhere much darker, step by step, until the destination felt normal.

That's exactly how the manosphere works.

"Not all men" — and why that's the wrong conversation

The social media debate playing out right now is predictable, and worth addressing head on.

Yes, not all men engage with or endorse manosphere content. Of course. And the moment that becomes the centre of the conversation, we've lost the thread entirely.

The more useful question is this: whose job is it to change this?

Culture isn't changed by the people causing harm suddenly deciding to stop. It's changed by everyone around them — colleagues, managers, coaches, teachers, mates — deciding that silence is no longer an option. Bystandership isn't neutral. It's a choice. And when harmful attitudes about gender go unchallenged in your team meeting, your staffroom, your group chat, that silence is a vote for the status quo.

This is the heart of what Be There NZ exists to shift.

This is a workplace and schools issue

Organisations sometimes treat gender-based harm as something that happens out there — in relationships, in homes, in dark corners of the internet. The evidence says otherwise.

Psychosocial harm — the damage done to people's safety, dignity, and wellbeing through the culture and behaviours of those around them — is a recognised employer responsibility under New Zealand law. WorkSafe NZ is clear that psychosocial risks are workplace hazards, not personal problems. When the attitudes driving that harm are being actively shaped by content your people are consuming every day, looking away is not a neutral act.

Schools are already feeling this acutely. Teachers are navigating it in classrooms right now — often without the language, the frameworks, or the confidence to respond well. The Theroux documentary, whether schools plan for it or not, will be watched by students this weekend. The conversation is already happening. The question is whether the adults in the room are ready to be part of it.

What Be There offers is not a lecture

We're not here to run a session on why misogyny is bad. Your people already know that — or think they do.

Be There NZ offers practical, evidence-based training built around a simple but powerful framework: call in, check in, switch, and champion. These are the everyday actions that turn good intentions into real culture change — intervening early before harm escalates, supporting people on the receiving end, and modelling the kind of respect that becomes the norm rather than the exception.

Our Gender-Based Violence Prevention workshop helps teams understand how everyday behaviours — banter, language, who gets interrupted, who gets believed — connect directly to the broader drivers of harm. Our Empowering Positive Workplaces programme gives teams and leaders the confidence to act in real-world moments.

Over 90% of participants report increased confidence to intervene after Be There training.

Be There NZ is powered by RISE — bringing more than 38 years of family and sexual violence prevention expertise, deep kaupapa Māori grounding, and strong relationships across Aotearoa communities and government. The programme is internationally proven and locally accountable.

This moment matters

The Theroux documentary has cracked something open. People who've never heard the word "manosphere" are now asking what it means and whether it's affecting their kids, their teams, their workplaces. That's a genuine opening — and it won't stay open forever.

Be There NZ exists precisely for moments like this one. Not to capitalise on a news cycle, but because the data, the courtroom evidence, and the lived experience of people across Aotearoa are all saying the same thing: attitudes are shifting in the wrong direction, and the window to intervene early is now.

If you're a leader in a workplace or school who's looking at this week's headlines and thinking we should be doing something about this — you're right. And we're ready to help.

Get in touch at bethere.nz or email hello@bethere.nz to find out how Be There NZ can work with your organisation.