We know better. So why aren't we doing better?

What the 2025 Gender Attitudes Survey tells us about culture — and what it means for everyday action.

Last August, the National Council of Women of New Zealand released the fifth Gender Attitudes Survey. It's a remarkable piece of research — tracking how New Zealanders think and feel about gender equality every two years, since 2017.

We've had a few months to sit with it now. And it raises a question that goes to the heart of what Be There is about.

Because the data is both encouraging and unsettling at the same time.

What people say they believe

Let's start with the good news. The overwhelming majority of New Zealanders — 79% — agree that gender equality is a fundamental right. That number has held steady for eight years. It's not shifting. People believe in equality.

60% recognise that sexism is still a significant issue. Most people think women and men should be able to work, study, and live in the same roles and spaces without discrimination. Most people are comfortable with gay men, lesbians, bisexual and non-binary people in their workplaces, sports teams, and families.

On paper, we look pretty good.

But here's where it gets more complicated.

The gap between belief and reality

46% of respondents agreed that gender equality has largely already been achieved in Aotearoa. That figure has risen steadily from 30% in 2017.

On one level, that reflects real progress. Things have changed. But it also means that close to half of us believe the work is basically done — at a time when the survey's own data shows significant structural and attitudinal gaps still very much in play.

Think about this: only 37% of respondents believed gender equality had been achieved in senior management. Only 37% believed it had been achieved in the workplace overall. These aren't abstract problems — they're the environments most of us live and work in every day.

And when you look at attitudes toward rape, the picture is genuinely troubling. Agreement with the statement that "rape happens when a man's sex drive is out of control" has risen from 25% in 2017 to 36% in 2025. Not fallen. Risen. 

Over eight years of national conversation about gender equality, a harmful myth has quietly gained ground.

The young men finding

There's one piece of data that deserves particular attention — and particular care in how we respond to it.

Younger male respondents (aged 18–34) are significantly more likely than any other group to believe gender equality has already gone too far (33% compared to 15% of younger women), less likely to see sexism as a real issue, and less likely to support gender-equitable norms.

This isn't a reason to write off a generation of young men. It's a signal about where disconnection is happening — and why active bystandership, done well, matters so much right now.

When young people haven't been given language, frameworks, or models for how to navigate these questions respectfully, they tend to absorb whatever narrative is loudest around them. And right now, some of the loudest narratives about masculinity and gender are not the most helpful ones.

What does this mean for us — in workplaces and schools?

Here's the thing about culture change: it rarely happens through policy alone. People don't shift behaviour because a document tells them to.

They shift behaviour because of what they see modelled around them. Because of what gets named when it happens. Because of whether someone steps in or looks away. Because of what leadership does when the moment actually arrives.

That's the core insight behind active bystandership — and it's exactly what the survey data is pointing to.

Most harm doesn't happen because people don't care about equality. It happens in the gap between what we believe in the abstract and what we do in the specific moment in front of us. The comment that slides past unchallenged. The meeting where one person's voice keeps getting talked over. The joke that everyone laughs at because that's what you do.

Silence doesn't mean agreement — but it looks like it. And it teaches everyone watching what the norms actually are.

The numbers don't lie — but they also don't tell the whole story

79% of New Zealanders believe gender equality is a fundamental right. That is genuinely something. That is a foundation we can build on.

But foundations only become buildings when people act on what they say they believe.

The survey shows us that awareness alone isn't enough. We can track attitudes for years, and see some things improve and others quietly worsen, because awareness without the skills to act on it tends to stall out.

What changes culture is people — ordinary people, in ordinary moments — choosing to say something, do something, step in, check in, call in.

Not perfectly. Not heroically. Just consistently.

So what can you do — today?

If you're a leader in a workplace or school, you're already shaping culture whether you mean to or not. The question is what kind.

Notice what you let pass. Notice who gets heard in meetings and who doesn't. Notice what happens when someone makes a comment that edges toward harm. Notice whether your team feels safe enough to raise concerns — or whether they've learned it's safer to stay quiet.

And if you want to build the practical skills to act on what you notice — not just in theory, but in real moments with real people — that's exactly what Be There is here for.

Because when you know better, you do better. But only if you actually do something.

The Aotearoa New Zealand Gender Attitudes Survey 2025 was conducted by Research New Zealand and commissioned by the National Council of Women of New Zealand (NCWNZ), with support from Manatū Wāhine, the Ministry for Women. It surveyed 1,250 New Zealanders aged 18 and over between 12–23 May 2025.